On this episode we discuss why the search for happiness actually makes us feel worse. I’ll share with you a paradigm shift that will change the way you look at happiness forever!
Transcript
On a scale of one to 10, how happy would you say that you are?
Amin Ahmed:I asked this same question to a good friend of mine while we
Amin Ahmed:were having sushi for lunch.
Amin Ahmed:And his response was not unlike others.
Amin Ahmed:He said he was around a seven out of 10.
Amin Ahmed:Then I asked him what it would take to get him to attend the conversation that
Amin Ahmed:we had after this question changed the way that he looked at happiness for.
Amin Ahmed:In the next three minutes, we're going to discuss why searching
Amin Ahmed:for happiness is a terrible idea.
Amin Ahmed:I'm Amin Ahmed and welcome to be well do well.
Amin Ahmed:All right.
Amin Ahmed:So back to this story, if you recall, I asked my friend what it would take to
Amin Ahmed:get his happiness from a seven to a 10.
Amin Ahmed:Now he mentioned things like more money or better health, more free time.
Amin Ahmed:Of course the six pack is always in there.
Amin Ahmed:We all want these things.
Amin Ahmed:Some others may have said that they want more cars or jewelry or a vacation.
Amin Ahmed:Well, there's nothing wrong with wanting these material things.
Amin Ahmed:The problem comes when we use them to hold our happiness hostage.
Amin Ahmed:This is exactly what I said to him.
Amin Ahmed:I asked him, why are you holding your happiness hostage to more
Amin Ahmed:money or a new car or a new.
Amin Ahmed:When I realized that I too was holding my happiness hostage, using money,
Amin Ahmed:time, physical things, it really liberated me just knowing that this is
Amin Ahmed:something that I was doing consciously and realizing that that really changed
Amin Ahmed:the way I thought about having.
Amin Ahmed:Why should my happiness be determined by external factors?
Amin Ahmed:Could I not simply choose to be happy with what I have now without
Amin Ahmed:any conditions or strings attached?
Amin Ahmed:That's the question I kept asking myself, what can I do now to be happy on a scale
Amin Ahmed:of 10, right at that 10 or maybe even 11.
Amin Ahmed:At that point, I made a conscious choice not to allow outside
Amin Ahmed:factors to control my happiness.
Amin Ahmed:I decided that I was going to be an 11.
Amin Ahmed:. I should point out here that while you can be 10 on a happiness scale, you can
Amin Ahmed:also still feel sad, angry, disappointed.
Amin Ahmed:These are all natural emotions and you should feel them.
Amin Ahmed:You shouldn't hold them back and you shouldn't bottle them up.
Amin Ahmed:So you see searching for happiness outside of yourself really is a terrible thing.
Amin Ahmed:There is always going to be somebody else that has more money that has
Amin Ahmed:a nicer car or a bigger house.
Amin Ahmed:And if your happiness is attached to your value based on what you have materially
Amin Ahmed:or how you look physically, of course, you want to feel healthy and you want
Amin Ahmed:to be healthy, but being skinnier or more muscular, that's really taking
Amin Ahmed:it outside of who you are and saying that this is how somebody else sees.
Amin Ahmed:So, let me ask you again on a scale of 10, how happy are you now?
Amin Ahmed:That's all for today.
Amin Ahmed:Come back tomorrow to learn about how to get more done by
Amin Ahmed:slowing down, have an awesome day.